Frustrations

It's frustrating when someone doesn't treat you with respect, as if you don't have a place in this world. It's ridiculous that people have to even put up with shit like that. I'm seriously pissed off.

Who the hell are you? Why the hell do I have to try to be nice to you? You don't even care so why should I give a shit? It's funny because here I am pissed off at this situation and you probably have absolutely no idea. You just live in your own world. That's fine. I just hope someone puts you in your place soon. Just because you think you're better than someone, means that you're not. Because that thought right there is arrogance and I guess that's the best description. Arrogance.

Dream World

I live in a fake dream world. I hope it starts to come true.

Thunder & Costumes

I can't wait for Halloween! I want to go all out but I have no idea what I want to be. Everyone always wants to make their own costumes but I'm running out of time! Lyds sent me a picture of some wigs and I couldn't help but laugh at them.

Too hilarious.
I guess I could be a nerd because that would be pretty easy but I still kind of want to make a costume. dilemma dilemma.

Tonight I really longed for a cookie but no cookie came my way. Tomorrow I'm going to find myself a delicious one.

I hope it doesn't thunder as much as it did today. It was crazy. Last night I woke up at 6am because the lightening was too bright, how absurd. I dislike driving when it pours just because its so hard to see on the freeway. Also because there always ends up being an accident and I hate seeing that.

Chipper

I stumbled across this song on my ipod and even though I have no idea what she's saying, I would like to think shes saying exactly what I'm feeling.

I'm pretty excited to see my parents this weekend! It's been 2 months and I've wondered if my parents have aged. Maybe my dad has more white hair and maybe my mom is getting more wrinkles. Brownie is definitely growing more white. It's only been two months but the more I'm away from home, the more I realize that so much has changed. I become a guest when I go home and not a permanent resident. I miss out on the day to day things that happen in our family. It feels like I'm a family on my own and they are living their lives. 

Yesterday I had a great time at Disneyland and even when I was all Disneyed out, Disneyland surprised me.

What to be for Halloween?!

what is this?

my heart is racing. its called stress. extreme stress. i can't wait until this week is over. can we fast forward one week? then i can look forward to the same exact feeling in november and once again in december. why must you do this to me?!?

Me vs. Reality

How could I even possibly begin to describe how I feel? I'm on this constant roller coaster going up and down, going through loops and whatnots. Yesterday I loved it. I felt so good and happy. As I shared my struggles with unfamiliar faces, I realized that I'm not alone. I felt encouraged and stronger. She told me that there had to be a reason why I was still in the OC, why I am where I am.

Today is a different story. Once again I hit the bottom of the ocean floor and I forgot about the joy that I felt yesterday. Scary how quickly one can change. Sometimes reality really hurts. You realize that people only call because they need something, not because they want to know how you're doing. What happens when they don't need you? You get left behind because there is nothing that you can offer. Occasionally you get a text, a facebook message, a call but that slowly starts to fade away. Before you know it, its been 5 years since you've talked.

I've always felt like I was an optimistic person, maybe because of my dad. Lately I've been extremely pessimistic and this is got to change! I gotta get back to being me.

I miss my parents and my family. Even though when I was young my mom had to bribe me to go with her to SF to visit my grandma, I wish I was there right now. Going through her makeup and nail polish were the best. Now just sitting with her and watching dramas with her are the best.

This is how I want to feel. I smile when I see how much joy is in this picture.

I want to laugh like I did right before we took this picture. When it started pouring rain and we had to put our ponchos on in NY.

Reality bites hard.

I do

The weekend went by too fast. As the weeks are going by I'm becoming more and more apathetic about everything. This weather isn't helping either! Today it was 108 degrees and in Vegas it was only 96. How does that work?! At least tomorrow it'll only be 87degrees. Never thought I would be happy that it would only be 86 degrees. Lucky roommates escaping the heat, please take me on the vaca too!

This weekend was my first engagement party. That means I'm getting old. Not so young and fresh anymore. Anyways can't wait till the weddings roll in.

Congrats Sam! So happy for the both of you!

No more summer

Ahh the weather is going to be in the 90s for the next week! I am not ready for this.

Summer is officially over but the sun says "no no I want to shine for another week or so". Anyways I finished "Summer's Desire / 泡沫之夏" last night. I must say I didn't like this drama too much. I hate starting dramas because you get sucked in and you want to know what happens in the end even if its not very good. This drama was a very dark one and even up until the 13th episode you had no idea who the girl would end up with! Nonetheless, the ending was okay. Would I recommend it? Eh if you're the cutesy kinda girl...probably not.

Any new dramas you might recommend?

I must say blogging gets addicting.

Lost

Michael Bublé always has the best songs. I have finally decided to join the blogging world. Welcome, Welcome.

Time sure does fly by. I find myself dreading the upcoming weeks and the even the coming year. The midterms, quizzes, applications, OATs. I lose confidence in applying, in my future, my passion. Can I do it? I sure hope so.

Things were better when they were simple. Ignorance is Bliss. Someone asked me yesterday if I liked going to college at UCI and I found myself saying it was okay. Why? We are in the center of materialism right here. Everyone in Irvine drives good cars. We sit there comparing ourselves to Jack and Jill next door. Susan has that new thing, I want it too. People lose the ability to be content and grateful for what they have. Here in the OC we are next door neighbors with Newport Beach (they still hold the title of having the most expensive houses). Don't get me wrong, it's comfortable to live in such a cookie cutter city. I just wish I didn't get sucked in all the time.

Why are people so complicated? Welcome to the real world. Welcome to a new beginning.

Here's to a new start. My pup wants to join in on the fun too.